The Dirty Dozen

The Dirty Dozen—12 Phrases To Ban from Your Workplace Vocabulary Forever

By Darlene Price, author of Well Said: Presentations and
Conversations that Get Results

Today’s workplace is a very competitive arena, with battles for attention and recognition prevalent at every level. This challenging atmosphere requires that the critically important words we speak and write to managers, peers, and direct reports be chosen carefully. It is crucial to be perceived as a positive contributor and leader, rather than a whiner, loner, or one who drains others of energy.

The following twelve phrases exude negativity—and may even risk jeopardizing your credibility and promote-ability at work. To ensure an upwardly mobile career, strive to eliminate them now from your work-related spoken and written communication.

1. “I can’t do that”; variations include “That’s impossible”; “That can’t be done.”

Even though you may feel this way, such phrases are perceived by others as pessimistic, unconstructive, or stubborn. Bosses, peers and customers don’t want to hear what CAN’T be done.  Instead, say “I’ll be glad to check on that for you”; or, “What I can do is . . .”; or, “Because of company policy, what I CAN do is . . .”

2. “You should have . . .”; variations include “You could have. . .”; “You ought to have . . .”

The words should, could and ought imply blame, finger-pointing and fault-finding. There’s no quicker way to upset bosses, colleagues or customers than to suggest they’re guilty of something (even if they may well be!). Instead, take a collaborative approach. “Please help me understand why . . .”; or,  “Next time maybe we can come up with an alternative approach . . .”;  or,  “I understand the challenge involved; let’s resolve this together.”

3. “That’s not my job”; variations include “I don’t get paid enough for this”; “That’s not my problem.”

If you’re asked to do something by your boss, co-worker or a customer, it’s usually because it’s important to them. Therefore, as a team player your goal is to figure out how to help get it accomplished. Even if it’s not part of your job description, saying so displays a career-limiting attitude. For example, if your boss lays an unreasonable request on you, reply by saying, “I’ll be glad to help you accomplish that. Given my current tasks of A, B, and C, which of these would you like to place on the back-burner while I work on the new assignment?’  This clearly communicates a sense of priority, reminds the boss of your current work load, and subtly implies realistic expectations—as much as you can do. A controlling boss might insist on adding the task to your schedule anyway, in which case you should be prepared for overtime.

4. “I may be wrong, but . . .”; variations include “This may be a dumb question, but…”; “I’m not sure about this, but . . .”; “This may be a silly idea, but . . .”

Eliminate any prefacing phrase that demeans or negates what you’re about to say. Instead, get rid of the self-deprecating phrase, drop the “but,” and make your comment.

5. “I’ll try.”

Imagine your boss says to you, “I need your proposal by 10 a.m. tomorrow for the customer meeting.” You reply, “Okay. I’ll try to get it finished.” The word “try” implies the possibility you may not get it finished, and presupposes possible failure. Instead say, “I’ll get it finished” or (if you’re sure you can do so) “I’ll have it on your desk by then—maybe even before.””

6. “I think . . .”

Which of the following two statements do you find more effective?:

“I think you might like this new solution we’ve developed”; or, “I believe (or I’m confident) you’re going to like this new solution we’ve developed.”The difference in wording is subtle. The level of confidence  communicated to your customer, however, can be profound. Reread each sentence. The first one contains two weak words, “think” and “might.” Both make you sound unsure or insecure about the message, and subtly undermine your credibility. Notice how the second sentence is confident and strong. Replace the words “think” with “believe,” and strike the tentative “might.” That’s a statement from someone who believes what he or she is saying.

7.  “. . . don’t you think?”; variations include   “. . . isn’t it?”;  “. . . okay?” 

To convey a confident, commanding presence, eliminate validation questions. Make your statement or recommendation with certainty, and avoid tacking on the unnecessary approval-seeking question.  Don’t say, “This would be a good investment, don’t you think?” Instead say, “This solution will be a wise investment that provides long-term benefits.”  Don’t say, “I think we should proceed using this proposed strategy, okay?” Instead, make a declaration: “We’ll proceed using this proposed strategy.”  (To your boss, you might want to add the phrase, “If you agree . . .”)

8. “I don’t have time for this right now”; or “I don’t have time to talk to you right now.”

Other than being abrupt and rude, this phrase tells the person they’re less important to you than your current visitor or activity.  Instead, say, “I’d be glad to discuss this with you. I’m meeting a deadline at the moment. May I stop by your office (or phone you) this afternoon at 3 p.m.? 

9. “. . . but . . .”

Simply replace the word “but” with “and.”  The word “but” tends to cancel or negate anything that comes before it. Imagine if your significant other said to you, “Honey, I love you, but . . .” Similarly, imagine if a software salesperson said, “Yes, our implementation process is fast, easy, and affordable….but we can’t install it until June. The “but” creates a negative that didn’t exist before, offsetting the benefits of fast, easy, and affordable. Replace the “but” with “and” and hear the difference: “Yes, our implementation process is fast, easy and affordable, and we can install it as early as June.”  Most of the time “and” can be substituted for “but” with positive results.

10.  “He’s a jerk”; variations include “She’s lazy”; “They’re stupid”; “I hate my job”; “This company stinks.”

Avoid making destructive or judgmental statements that convey a negative attitude toward your co-workers or your job.  This mistake tanks a career quickly. If a genuine complaint or issue needs to be brought to someone’s attention, do so with tact, consideration and without prejudging. For example, when discussing a co-worker’s tardiness with your boss, don’t say “She’s lazy.” Instead say, “I’ve noticed Susan has been an hour late for work every morning this month.” This comment states an observable fact and avoids disparaging language.
  

11. "It's not fair." 
She got a raise, you didn’t. He was recognized, you weren’t. Some people have food to eat while others starve. Injustices happen on the job and in the world every day. The point in avoiding this phrase is to be proactive about the issues versus complaining, which may be perceived as passive whining.  Instead, document the facts, build a case, and present an intelligent argument to the person or group who can help you.

12.  "But we've always done it that way."
Most effective leaders value innovation, creative thinking and problem solving skills in their employees. In one fell swoop, this phrase reveals you are the opposite: stuck in the past, inflexible, and closed-minded.  Instead say, “Wow, that’s an interesting idea. How would that work?”  Or, “That’s a different approach. Let’s discuss the pros and cons.” 

The words we speak are very powerful and can make a big difference in how we are perceived, dealt with, and promoted (or not) in the workplace. You don’t have to be a charismatic motivational speaker to present like a pro. Whether you’re delivering a stand-up presentation, leading a sit-down conversation, conducting a webinar, closing a sale, writing an e-mail, or proposing an idea, your words can have more power than were ever intended.  Well Said: Presentations and Conversations that Get Results will help you convey confidence, communicate clearly, and connect with every audience. It’s filled with tips and suggestions on how you, too, can be seen as a valuable part of your organization.

                                                                 ______________________ 

Darlene Price is the president and founder of Well Said, Inc., a training and consulting company specializing in high-impact presentations and effective communication. Darlene has presented to thousands of audiences across six continents and coached the chief officers and senior executives in more than half the Fortune 100 companies. Well Said: Presentations and Conversations that Get Results is published by AMACOM. www.wellsaid.com.